Archive for May 13th, 2015

I guess that seems a little redundant, as whatever a person thinks of the topic you couldn’t call it BORING, but here goes:

I spoke in tongues again last night. it took significantly longer to get started than it had previous times, long enough that I was feeling a little bit dubious, but once it got going it had the same strength as the last time. It’s still coming out very fast, and I had to consciously make myself breathe a couple of times, because I was apparently forgetting to breathe again.  I wasn’t aware of my normal speech being speeded up at all afterwards this time; whether this was because of not speaking in tongues for as long of a time, or for some other reason, will I assume become clear over the next few weeks. 

There were 2 really big changes this time. The first is that, unlike all the previous times when I was always able to at least get out the first few syllables when I wanted to thank God or the Holy Spirit for what was happening, this time I was totally unable to get a single syllable to come out of my mouth voluntarily, with I think just one exception; I have no idea what this could mean, other than that the Holy Spirit is intensifying his control during these times, and has been gradually transitioning me to him having full control.  The other change should objectively have really freaked me out, and certainly would have under any other circumstances; there were chunks of time where not only was I not able to form a single syllable of my own volition, but I could not even form the words in my HEAD. I have never before in my entire life experienced this inability to form thoughts in my head, and when it was happening I was still walking around, still speaking in tongues without a pause, feeling puzzled and amazed at this sort of blankness in my mind. I’ll be VERY interested to see if this happens again; I’m betting that it will, that this will be part of whatever evolution this process is going through. I just can’t imagine that something this bizarre is a one-time thing, especially not at this point in the process where what I’m doing is no longer brand-new.

In my post of 5-7, “Speaking in tongues: the home version,” I reported what I have to call an at least somewhat negative aftereffect:

“I felt very exhausted and kind of… I want to say headachy, but that wasn’t exactly the feeling… I felt so tired, with so much heavy, uncomfortable, almost painful feelings in my head, that I ended up going to bed and sleeping for well over 3 hours.”

I was pretty much dismissing it, because of having just been sick… but it happened again last night. Same feeling, same timeframe, shortly after midnight, and with the same result, going to bed and sleeping for 3 hours, which is longer than I would normally nap for, especially when I have not just been sick.

Something happening twice is certainly not definitive, but I think it’s highly significant.  As I did last time, I did a search to see if other people are experiencing this, and couldn’t find anything, so this is at the very least quite unusual. I have no idea what it means. It might just be that I’m overly sensitive in some way, and that’s why I’m getting knocked out like this. Maybe this is happening to prevent me from going overboard with speaking in tongues, since I certainly can’t have this mental crash every day.  The most plausible explanation still seems to me that some sort of alteration is going on in my brain to accommodate the Holy Spirit, something that normal people either don’t require or are not so heavily affected by. I don’t know whether this will eventually taper off and stop once my brain has been reprogrammed to handle it, or whether this is just the first step of a bigger plan; I can only speculate.  Considering that what is currently occurring is well outside the realm of anything I could previously have predicted or imagined, I suspect that what this is leading up to will be another quantum leap in my religious life. Stay tuned.

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