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Archive for July 30th, 2014

3 in 2 days, after none for a year and a half… God has my full attention.  Something is happening in my brain, and I have to wonder if something big is coming that this is getting me ready for, especially considering the dream I just had, together with the one I reported in “Did God send me a dream?” 19 days ago;  this stuff  all feels connected.

For the sake of completeness and consistency, I’ll list the previous 17 “eyelid image” episodes:  11-1-10, 11-19-10, 11-24-10, 1-21-11, 1-28-11, 1-29-11, 3-22-11, 2 on 5-28-11, 10-5-11, 10-30-11, 7-20-12 , 10-22-12, 2 on 11-13-12 and 2 on 7-18-14.  This time, I saw…  wait, first the dream:

I was somewhere like a big dorm room, with a bunch of balloons up against the ceiling as if there had been a party. I pulled down a little dark-purple heart-shaped metallic balloon (you don’t have to be Freud to see this as representing love), and inexplicably said, “Father, if this is all going to work out, please turn this balloon blue.” Immediately, the color started to fade, and ended up sky-blue; there was suddenly also a sky blue tint to everything else in the room. Pretty big sign there. The owner of the room complained that I had ruined his posters; I can see his point, but it was, after all, a MIRACLE.

Next, I was at my roommate’s desk, on which I spotted a book with a lot of little bits of colored paper sticking out of it;  upon inspection, it turned out to be a record of a bunch of my religious stuff, none of which he knows about. It was obvious from what was there that he had been snooping and spying on me. When I accused him, he was only slightly apologetic; he announced that it was necessary because I was CRAZY, and I needed help. I told him, no, that God and all of my experiences with Him were REAL, and suggested that he go into the nearby room that was now all blue and ask its owner what he had just seen happen there. Naturally, he refused; there is no man so blind as one who will not see. He was very insistent about my being crazy (which is basically what he thinks about all religious people, which is why I don’t tell him anything). And then, security guards showed up, and a psychiatrist, which made me think that I might at that point have “magically” been relocated to a mental hospital. I was able to push pass them out the door… and then, I began to FLY.

As a final barrier, it suddenly turned out that I was inside a gigantic outer room.  I heard my roommate telling someone to turn on the fans and cause updrafts so that I could pretend that I was flying, and I said “no, this is real,” broke out a window with my elbow, flew through it, and started circling high above what had now turned into a MALL. I was calling down to them, to everyone down there, that this was REAL, that God was REAL, look at what I was doing, and that this was all the proof they needed. A bunch of little white dots came swirling and swarming up from the mall; I somehow “knew” that they were little porcelain angel figurines, inexplicably coming in thousands from all parts of the mall to join me, as… moral support, maybe? Eventually, I came down, and was being sort of jostled by the crowd, and I think the security guards were trying to get to me, because apparently my having just been flying was not sufficient proof that I was experiencing God and not insanity; a dark-haired man in a security guard uniform who may in fact have been a security guard led me away to safety…  and I can’t tell you how excruciatingly rare it is for anyone to help me in a dream, in fact a standard theme of my dreams is that I’m constantly searching for help and can’t find it.  (A dark-haired man also helped me in that other recent dream;  was it the same one?)

The only thing I remember after that was speaking into a microphone in a miniature amphitheater with people sitting around me, except they kept leaving until everyone was gone… and since I was speaking about the greatness of God, I assume that this final bit was the part of my subconscious that’s afraid that if I stand up to preach nobody will listen. I expressed astonishment that people wouldn’t have any interest in what I had to say when they just saw me FLYING, and the security guard who’d saved me said that people have short memories. I think I protested that it had only been 5 minutes.

When I woke up, in the darkness behind my closed eyelids I could see tiny white dots that at first glance might have appeared to be a starry sky…  except, the dots were moving around, and I instantly knew what they actually were; the angels. I opened my eyes, and closed them again; the image persisted.

The “blue miracle.” The escape. The rescue.  The power of flight. The flights of angels, both in the dream and in the eyelid image, which was a first. 3 images in 2 days, after a year and a half of nothing. This is a ton of hardcore stuff in a very short period of time. There’s never been any confusion in my mind that the eyelid images are a gift from God, valuable both in themselves and as a sign that He is expanding and improving me. For the angels to appear in the dream as well as the image shows me that God was present in that dream. Ignoring the anxiety part, the dream showed me with a rescuer, and massive angelic support, and overcoming enormous obstacles and opposition with Divine assistance… AND, with God responding to my request for proof that everything would work out in a wildly bigger way than I had requested, where the “everything” is the damaged relationships in my life.

And further proof of that, should any be necessary: My roommate and I have been slowly struggling back from a period in our relationship that was worse than I had ever believed possible, as if the wreck of my social and emotional life wasn’t enough. We’ve been talking about going out and doing something fun together for longer than you’d believe without it ever happening. It finally got to the point where we felt very pressured to do something, but there really isn’t anything available that we both want to do, or that we don’t have a failed history of trying to do. There used to be a place that we went to several times in the year or 2 after we met that we both LOVED, in fact it was the first place we ever went to after we met, but it closed down 15 years ago. Neither one of us had thought of it in forever. And then, ALSO today, I received a coupon in the mail for… a new branch of this place that I didn’t even think existed anymore, which is opening up right near my house!! And he came home… having just seen the sign for this same place!! Now, for the first time in YEARS, we’re suddenly EAGER to go do something together, and as a bonus it will bring back those fun early days before we started trying to live under the same roof with financial dependency on each other. The TIMING!! I have absolute faith that this will be the thing that gets us back on solid ground again.

 

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