Archive for July, 2014

3 in 2 days, after none for a year and a half… God has my full attention.  Something is happening in my brain, and I have to wonder if something big is coming that this is getting me ready for, especially considering the dream I just had, together with the one I reported in “Did God send me a dream?” 19 days ago;  this stuff  all feels connected.

For the sake of completeness and consistency, I’ll list the previous 17 “eyelid image” episodes:  11-1-10, 11-19-10, 11-24-10, 1-21-11, 1-28-11, 1-29-11, 3-22-11, 2 on 5-28-11, 10-5-11, 10-30-11, 7-20-12 , 10-22-12, 2 on 11-13-12 and 2 on 7-18-14.  This time, I saw…  wait, first the dream:

I was somewhere like a big dorm room, with a bunch of balloons up against the ceiling as if there had been a party. I pulled down a little dark-purple heart-shaped metallic balloon (you don’t have to be Freud to see this as representing love), and inexplicably said, “Father, if this is all going to work out, please turn this balloon blue.” Immediately, the color started to fade, and ended up sky-blue; there was suddenly also a sky blue tint to everything else in the room. Pretty big sign there. The owner of the room complained that I had ruined his posters; I can see his point, but it was, after all, a MIRACLE.

Next, I was at my roommate’s desk, on which I spotted a book with a lot of little bits of colored paper sticking out of it;  upon inspection, it turned out to be a record of a bunch of my religious stuff, none of which he knows about. It was obvious from what was there that he had been snooping and spying on me. When I accused him, he was only slightly apologetic; he announced that it was necessary because I was CRAZY, and I needed help. I told him, no, that God and all of my experiences with Him were REAL, and suggested that he go into the nearby room that was now all blue and ask its owner what he had just seen happen there. Naturally, he refused; there is no man so blind as one who will not see. He was very insistent about my being crazy (which is basically what he thinks about all religious people, which is why I don’t tell him anything). And then, security guards showed up, and a psychiatrist, which made me think that I might at that point have “magically” been relocated to a mental hospital. I was able to push pass them out the door… and then, I began to FLY.

As a final barrier, it suddenly turned out that I was inside a gigantic outer room.  I heard my roommate telling someone to turn on the fans and cause updrafts so that I could pretend that I was flying, and I said “no, this is real,” broke out a window with my elbow, flew through it, and started circling high above what had now turned into a MALL. I was calling down to them, to everyone down there, that this was REAL, that God was REAL, look at what I was doing, and that this was all the proof they needed. A bunch of little white dots came swirling and swarming up from the mall; I somehow “knew” that they were little porcelain angel figurines, inexplicably coming in thousands from all parts of the mall to join me, as… moral support, maybe? Eventually, I came down, and was being sort of jostled by the crowd, and I think the security guards were trying to get to me, because apparently my having just been flying was not sufficient proof that I was experiencing God and not insanity; a dark-haired man in a security guard uniform who may in fact have been a security guard led me away to safety…  and I can’t tell you how excruciatingly rare it is for anyone to help me in a dream, in fact a standard theme of my dreams is that I’m constantly searching for help and can’t find it.  (A dark-haired man also helped me in that other recent dream;  was it the same one?)

The only thing I remember after that was speaking into a microphone in a miniature amphitheater with people sitting around me, except they kept leaving until everyone was gone… and since I was speaking about the greatness of God, I assume that this final bit was the part of my subconscious that’s afraid that if I stand up to preach nobody will listen. I expressed astonishment that people wouldn’t have any interest in what I had to say when they just saw me FLYING, and the security guard who’d saved me said that people have short memories. I think I protested that it had only been 5 minutes.

When I woke up, in the darkness behind my closed eyelids I could see tiny white dots that at first glance might have appeared to be a starry sky…  except, the dots were moving around, and I instantly knew what they actually were; the angels. I opened my eyes, and closed them again; the image persisted.

The “blue miracle.” The escape. The rescue.  The power of flight. The flights of angels, both in the dream and in the eyelid image, which was a first. 3 images in 2 days, after a year and a half of nothing. This is a ton of hardcore stuff in a very short period of time. There’s never been any confusion in my mind that the eyelid images are a gift from God, valuable both in themselves and as a sign that He is expanding and improving me. For the angels to appear in the dream as well as the image shows me that God was present in that dream. Ignoring the anxiety part, the dream showed me with a rescuer, and massive angelic support, and overcoming enormous obstacles and opposition with Divine assistance… AND, with God responding to my request for proof that everything would work out in a wildly bigger way than I had requested, where the “everything” is the damaged relationships in my life.

And further proof of that, should any be necessary: My roommate and I have been slowly struggling back from a period in our relationship that was worse than I had ever believed possible, as if the wreck of my social and emotional life wasn’t enough. We’ve been talking about going out and doing something fun together for longer than you’d believe without it ever happening. It finally got to the point where we felt very pressured to do something, but there really isn’t anything available that we both want to do, or that we don’t have a failed history of trying to do. There used to be a place that we went to several times in the year or 2 after we met that we both LOVED, in fact it was the first place we ever went to after we met, but it closed down 15 years ago. Neither one of us had thought of it in forever. And then, ALSO today, I received a coupon in the mail for… a new branch of this place that I didn’t even think existed anymore, which is opening up right near my house!! And he came home… having just seen the sign for this same place!! Now, for the first time in YEARS, we’re suddenly EAGER to go do something together, and as a bonus it will bring back those fun early days before we started trying to live under the same roof with financial dependency on each other. The TIMING!! I have absolute faith that this will be the thing that gets us back on solid ground again.


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For the benefit of new readers:  One of my many oddities is that I am unable to see images in my mind.  I have vivid dreams with the normal, real-looking visuals, but when I close my eyes and try to see something, the best I can manage are fast, dark flashes.  3.5 years ago, God gave me my 1st “waking image,” aka “eyelid image,” where when I was awake but with my eyes closed I could see an image. These images appear without any effort from me, and they are not images of my choosing, although they are sometimes things that I would generally like to see.  The can be either static or moving, realistic or surreal.  The first one was dark and dim, but later ones were better.  The previous 15 were:  11-1-10, 11-19-10, 11-24-10, 1-21-11, 1-28-11, 1-29-11, 3-22-11, 2 on 5-28-11, 10-5-11, 10-30-11, 7-20-12 , 10-22-12, and 2 on 11-13-12.  I’ve skipped over a year and a half without one;  I don’t know why, or why the other, smaller chunks without one happened, although I think that periods of heavy stress were part of it.

I vaguely think that I might have had one recently and forgotten to record it, although I’ve DREAMED that I needed to write one down, too, so I can’t be sure.  I AM sure that, early this morning as I was trying to get to sleep, God gave me my 16th and 17th eyelid images.  The first one was barely discernible, black against nearly black;  it was like a cartoony ferris wheel full of crude figures spinning around.  The second one was still very dark, but a little clearer.  It was like a jumbled frieze of crude figures.  Imagine something like this:


except there were multiple rows, and they were MOVING, as if they were…  fighting, maybe?  The other interesting element is that I had a dream that referred to a friend after I saw them;  multiple past images were either after dreams of him or actually showed him.  Considering how rare dreams of him have become, and how long I went without the images…  VERY interesting

I have no idea what it means, but I know that any new ability comes from God, so I’m recording it.


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You’re coming out

from JO’s sermon tonight:

we all face situations that look permanent, in our health, our relationships, our career. it’s easy to think that that’s the way it’s always going to be. “I’ll always struggle with this addiction.” “I’ll always have to deal with this depression.” “I’ll always be at this same level.” “I’ll never break out of this rut, do something great.” but just because it seems permanent to us, doesn’t mean that it’s permanent to God. God doesn’t allow you to get into anything that He can’t bring you out of. even if it was your own fault, you brought the trouble on yourself, God wouldn’t have allowed it if He didn’t have a way out. He knew how to get you out of the trouble before you got in the trouble. He knows the end from the beginning. He had the solution even before you had the problem. it may look to you like it’s never going to change, but God is saying, “it’s temporary. you’re coming out of that sickness, chronic pain, loneliness, debt, addiction, legal trouble; it’s not going to last forever. it didn’t come to stay, it came to pass.”

God has already made a way for you to escape. He has already planned your coming-out party; It’s just a matter of time before you see the breakthrough, healing, abundance, restoration, new levels. the scripture says in Job that God has set an end to the difficulty, trouble. God is the alpha and the omega, the beginning and the end. He has already set an end to the sickness, addiction, injustice at work. your coming-out date has already been established. now when thoughts tell you, “it’s never going to change, you might as well accept it, this is as good as it gets,” no, you have to remind yourself, “I will not always be lonely. God has set an end to this loneliness. He is bringing somebody great into my life. I will not always struggle in my finances. God has set an end to this lack. He has promotion, increase, abundance, coming my way. this child that’s off course is not always going to cause me heartache; the Creator of the universe, the one who spoke worlds into existence, has already decided the final date. this addiction, these bad habits, are not going to hinder my life; God has already put the end on His calendar, my time is coming. freedom, wholeness, victory is in my future.” The scripture says:

Isaiah 58:9 (NIRV)

9 You will call out to me for help.  And I will answer you.

if you will stay in faith, there will come a point where God says, “enough is enough. that’s my son/daughter; I didn’t create them to live with addictions, sickness, lack, mediocrity, being taken advantage of, I created them to be victorious, healthy, free, to lend and not borrow.” God may have allowed it, but He wouldn’t have let you get into it if He couldn’t bring you out of it. He has already set the end to this sickness, legal problem, family situation, struggle. you don’t know, that end date could be today, this week, this month. what if you knew that on August 22 of this year that was the final date that God set for the difficulty? you wouldn’t drag around discouraged, thinking, “oh man, I never get any good breaks, I’ll never get over this illness.” no, you would go out each morning with a spring in your step, a smile on your face talking, acting like it was going to happen. that’s what faith is all about; you’ve got to believe it before you see it. you’ve got to act like it’s true before you see any sign that it’s happening.

if somebody asks you, “are you still dealing with that sickness? are you still under the weather?” don’t give them a 20 minute update of everything wrong with you, how bad the medical report was. your answer should be, “yes, I’m still dealing with it, but can I tell you, I’m coming out, I’m getting better, God is restoring health unto me, the number of my days He will fulfill.” “well, are you still struggling in your finances, you’re still in debt?” “yes, I’m still there, but I’m coming out, it’s only temporary, I will lend and not borrow.” “are you still with that same company, that same position? I thought you wanted to do something better?” “yes, I’m still there, but I’m coming out, my new job is on the way, God is opening doors that no man can shut.” you’ve got to get in agreement with God. He is saying, “where you are is not where are you’re staying.” you’re coming out of the drought into abundance. you’re coming out of fear and worry and into peace. you’re coming out of depression into joy. you’re coming out of constant struggle, bad breaks, into the favor of God. you may not see how it could happen, but don’t believe those lies; the end date has already been set. David put it this way:

Psalm 23:4 (KJ21)

4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death…

he didn’t say, “I stay in the valley, I built a house in the valley, I’m stuck in the valley,” he said, in effect, “I’m coming out of this valley.” the valley is temporary; you’re supposed to go through it, that is not your permanent home. but if you let it get permanent in your thinking, it will keep you from your destiny. every one of us is going through something: health issue, financial difficulty, a struggle at work. too often, we settle in the valley, and think, “I’ll always struggle, have this back pain, have strife and division in my family, that’s just who we are.” we put our stakes down, and build our house in the valley. I’m asking you to do what David did; pack up your belongings, pull up your stakes.  the valley is not your home. you are just passing through; you’re not a citizen of the valley, you don’t belong there, you’re illegal in the valley. you are not a citizen of debt, cancer, mediocrity. that’s a temporary position. you may be there for a season, but the good news is, your day of departure has a ready been set. God has already purchased your ticket.

you may be in the valley of sickness right now, the medical report doesn’t look good, but take heart; your ticket says, you are headed for good health, you will live and not die. you may be in the valley of struggle, lack, not enough, but your ticket says you are headed to more than enough, overflow, abundance. maybe you’re in the valley of loneliness, you don’t have much company; stay encouraged, your ticket says that divine connections are coming, new friendships, the right people. perhaps you’re in the valley of disappointment; something didn’t work out, you went through a breakup, business didn’t make it, a friend betrayed you. don’t stay discouraged; don’t let the self-pity and bitterness take root. that is not your final destination; your ticket says, “beauty for ashes,” “what was meant for your harm, God will use to your advantage.” if you will be a prisoner of hope, Zechariah said:

Zechariah 9:12 (ESV)

12  Return to your stronghold, O prisoners of hope; today I declare that I will restore to you double.

God will pay you back for the unfair things that have happened. we are not supposed to stay in the valley:

Psalm 30:5 (NKJV)

5 … Weeping may endure for a night,
But joy comes in the morning.

your ticket says, “new beginnings.” don’t get stuck in the valley. don’t put your stakes down in disappointment, loss, heartache, thinking you’ve seen your best days.

Psalm 84:6 (TLB)

6 When they walk through the Valley of Weeping, it will become a place of springs where pools of blessing and refreshment collect after rains!

that means, when you’re in the valley, if you’ll stay in faith, knowing that God has you in the palm of his hand, He will take your tears and turn them into pools to refresh you. you’ll have the strength you need for every situation.

Genesis 15:13-14 (KJV)

13 And he said unto Abram, Know of a surety that thy seed shall be a stranger in a land that is not theirs, and shall serve them; and they shall afflict them four hundred years;
14 And also that nation, whom they shall serve, will I judge: and afterward shall they come out with great substance.

what’s interesting is God is the one that sent them into slavery. He said, “I’m taking you into a place that’s going to be difficult.” if that was the end of the story, that doesn’t sound like a good deal. we’d think,”God, don’t do me any favors.” the truth is, that that setback was a setup for God to do something greater. God brought them out with great substance, with more than they had before. when you go through a difficulty, a disappointment, you may not understand it, but God wouldn’t have allowed it, not only if he couldn’t get you out, but God is going to take it one step further and bring you out with great substance, better off than you were before. God never brings you out the same; if you’ll stay in faith, He will bring you out with greater substance, joy, peace, resources.

Psalm 66:12 (NLT)

12 Then you put a leader over us. We went through fire and flood, but you brought us to a place of great abundance.

you may be in the fire, flood, famine right now, well, get ready, your next step is great abundance. God is going to do more than you could ask or think. when you go through a difficulty, when you face a bad break, you may not understand it, you may not like it, but God wouldn’t have allowed it unless ultimately He was going to use it to your advantage. recognize that it’s a setup for God to do something greater. when God told Moses to tell Pharaoh to let the people go:

Exodus 10:20 (NLT)

20 But the Lord hardened Pharaoh’s heart again, so he refused to let the people go.

here God was the one that told him to let the people go, yet God wanted Pharaoh to say no.

Exodus 14:4 (CEB)

4 I’ll make Pharaoh stubborn, and he’ll chase them. I’ll gain honor at the expense of Pharaoh and all his army, and the Egyptians will know that I am the Lord.

Exodus 14:4 (NLT)

4 And once again I will harden Pharaoh’s heart, and he will chase after you. I have planned this in order to display my glory through Pharaoh and his whole army.

there are enemies that God will allow into your life, not to defeat you, not to make you miserable, but so that God can receive great glory. you may be in a tough time, but when God brings you out, when you beat the cancer, break the addiction, when your marriage is restored, when you pay your house off, when you accomplish your dreams, everyone will know it wasn’t just you, it was the favor of God. God wants to show out in your life, make you an example of His goodness. but we pray, “God, keep me out of all the difficulties. God, don’t let me face any opposition.” but if that happened, number one, we wouldn’t grow like we should. our character is developed in the tough times; that’s when our faith is tested and strengthened. and number two, if we never had obstacles to overcome, if we never faced impossible situations, we wouldn’t see the greatness of God’s power. when we have difficulties, a lot of times we think, “why is this happening to me? what am I doing wrong?” no, you may not be doing anything wrong; God just may want to show out in your life. He may want to use that situation to bring Him great glory.

John 9:1-3 (ESV)

9 As he passed by, he saw a man blind from birth. 2 And his disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” 3 Jesus answered, “It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him.

John 9:6-7 (ESV)

6 Having said these things, he spit on the ground and made mud with the saliva. Then he anointed the man’s eyes with the mud 7 and said to him, “Go, wash in the pool of Siloam” (which means Sent). So he went and washed and came back seeing.

for the rest of his life, that man was a testimony to the goodness of God. your situation may look impossible, the obstacle looks too big, the sickness too bad, the business too slow, the marriage too far gone. no, get ready, you’re a prime candidate for God to show Himself strong. God specializes in cases that look too big, impossible, no chance. that way, when He turns it around, you will give Him great glory at the expense of your enemies.

Exodus 10:20 (NLT)

20 But the Lord hardened Pharaoh’s heart again

that tells me that God is in control, even of our enemies. when Satan wanted to test Job, he had to ask God for permission:

Job 1:11-12 (ESV)

11 But stretch out your hand and touch all that he has, and he will curse you to your face.” 12 And the Lord said to Satan, “Behold, all that he has is in your hand. Only against him do not stretch out your hand.”

when Saul was persecuting the church, he had to get permission from the chief priest to arrest believers. he was headed to Damascus, thinking, “I’ve got permission to make their lives miserable,” when:

Acts 9:3-4 (NKJV)

3 As he journeyed he came near Damascus, and suddenly a light shone around him from heaven. 4 Then he fell to the ground, and heard a voice saying to him, “Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting Me?”

even though he had permission, God stopped it. there are times when God will give the enemy permission to test us, but just like with Saul, God will stop it. God can stop the cancer, the addiction, the legal situation. every one of us can look back and see times where we know God stopped it. God doesn’t let you get into something that He can’t bring you out of. whatever comes against you, God can stop it. He can stop the accident, addictions, family trouble. the enemy is not going to have the last laugh; you will. David said:

Psalm 129:1-2 (TLB)

129 Persecuted from my earliest youth (Israel is speaking), 2 and faced with never-ending discrimination—but not destroyed! My enemies have never been able to finish me off!

that difficulty is not going to finish you off. that bad break, disappointment, sickness, is not the end; God has the final say, and He is saying, “you’re coming out with greater substance, better off than you were before. as a child of the Most High, God has put something on you where you cannot be defeated. the medical report may not look good, business is going down, the odds are against you, but:

Isaiah 54:17 (NKJV)

17 No weapon formed against you shall prosper

it may form, it may look impossible, but the good news is, God will stop it. it’s not going to prosper. like David said:

Psalm 129:1-2 (TLB)

129 … My enemies have never been able to finish me off!

stay in peace. God’s got your back. He is fighting your battles. He has done it in the past, and He’ll do it again future. in the story of the three Hebrew teenagers:

Daniel 3:14-15 (NKJV)

14 Nebuchadnezzar spoke, saying to them, “Is it true, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-Nego, that you do not serve my gods or worship the gold image which I have set up? 15 … if you do not worship, you shall be cast immediately into the midst of a burning fiery furnace.”

I’m sure they prayed, “God, please keep us out of the fire, this is dangerous, we could be killed in there.” they wanted God to do it one way, but God chose to do it another way. sometimes, God will deliver you from the fire; other times, God will make you fireproof and take you through the fire.

Daniel 3:20 (NIV)

20 and commanded some of the strongest soldiers in his army to tie up Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego and throw them into the blazing furnace.

it looked like it was over, like they were done. but God never lets you get into something that He can’t bring you out of.

Daniel 3:27 (NKJV)

27 … they saw these men on whose bodies the fire had no power; the hair of their head was not singed nor were their garments affected, and the smell of fire was not on them.

the only thing that fire burned off were the cords that were holding them back. the King came to check on them:

Daniel 3:24-25 (NKJV)

24 Then King Nebuchadnezzar was astonished; and he rose in haste and spoke, saying to his counselors, “Did we not cast three men bound into the midst of the fire?”
They answered and said to the king, “True, O king.”
25 “Look!” he answered, “I see four men loose, walking in the midst of the fire; and they are not hurt, and the form of the fourth is like the Son of God.”

the King said, “from this day forward, we are all going to worship the God of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego.” your enemies cannot finish you off; they don’t have the final say, God does. you may feel like you’re in the fire right now. you don’t see a way out, but stay encouraged; where you are now is not permanent, it’s temporary. you’re coming out, not the same, but better, with great abundance. when you come out, all of your family, friends, and enemies will know; the favor of God is on your life. you’re going to be a living testimony of God’s goodness. now remember; the end of the difficulty has already been set. the end of the trouble, lack, addiction; the final date has already been established. the good news is; it could happen this week. get up every morning thanking God that it’s on the way. if you’ll do this, you will be coming out of sickness, depressions, addictions, lack and struggle. the tide of the battle is turning. you might as well start planning your coming-out party. God is going to bring you out with great abundance, joy, peace; great victories are in your future.

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An anonymous commenter shared the following quote:

“I do not think there is any thrill that can go through the human heart like that felt by the inventor as he sees some creation of the brain unfolding to success . . . Such emotions make a man forget food, sleep, friends, love, everything.” – Nikola Tesla

God made us in His image, so…  are His feelings anything like ours?  Did He feel thrilled, joyful, etc, when He created us?  Is part of why He created us that He is essentially a Great Inventor who loves the act of creation?  There’s no way to know, but I hope He DID feel these things, and that He still feels them when He looks at us…  especially when He sees us “unfolding to success” in the destiny He has arranged for us to achieve.

He gives us so much;  it’s wonderful to think of what He might be getting in return, along with our love and faith.

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from JO’s sermon tonight:


our mind is like a computer; how we program it is the way it’s going to function. you can have the most powerful computer made, the latest, fastest, holds the most memory, but if you put the wrong software in it, it’s not going to function like it was designed. we’ve all had to deal with these computer viruses; they can get into a perfectly good computer and start to contaminate the software. before long, the computer is slow, you can’t access your files; all these problems occur, not because it’s defective, it’s poorly made, no, the hardware is fine, it’s because somebody reprogrammed the software. somehow the insides got messed up; now the software is contaminated. in the same way, when God created you, He stepped back and said, “another masterpiece! your hardware is perfect, you’re the right size, right nationality, you have the right gifts.” not only that; God put the right software in you; from the very beginning, He programmed you to be victorious, healthy, strong, creative. your original software says, “you can do all things through Christ.” He programmed, “whatever you touch will prosper and succeed.” He programmed, “the head and not the tail, lend and not borrow, victor and not victim.” you were programmed to live an abundant, victorious, faith-filled life; that’s how your Creator designed you. but the reason we don’t always experience this abundant life is we’ve allowed viruses to contaminate our software; we think, “I’ll never be successful, I’m not that talented. I’ll never break this addiction, I’ve had it too long. I’m slow, clumsy, unattractive, nothing good is in my future.”

because our software is infected, we go around, low self-esteem, negative, not believing for dreams to come to pass, not expecting problems to turn around. here’s the good news; there is nothing wrong with you. like that computer, you’re not a mistake, you’re not faulty, the problem is your software; you’ve got to get rid of the viruses. all through the day, dwell on what your Creator says about you; “I’m blessed, I’m strong, I’m healthy, I’m confident, I’m attractive, I’m valuable, I am victorious.” you’ve got to get back to your original software. if your thinking is limited, your life will be limited. one of the best things we can learn to do is hit the delete button. when negative, discouraging thoughts come, trying to contaminate your software, just hit delete. that thought says, “you’ve seen your best days, it’s all downhill from here”; recognize, that’s a virus trying to keep you from your destiny. it’s real simple; “delete! not dwelling on that. my software says, “the path of the righteous gets brighter and brighter.” “you’ll never get well, you saw the medical report”; “delete! God is restoring health back unto me. the number of my days He will fulfill. I will live and not die.” you may hear, “you’ll never accomplish your dreams, you’re not that talented, you don’t have what it takes”; “delete delete delete! I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I have the favor of God. whatever I touch prospers and succeeds.” perhaps you’ll hear, “you’ll never break that addiction. your father was an alcoholic, and you’ll be one too”; “delete! no weapon formed against me will prosper; whom the son sets free is free indeed, and I am free.”

John 8:36 (NIV)

36 So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.

if you’re going to reach your highest potential, you’ve got to get good at hitting the delete button. the enemy will use people to try to contaminate your software. God gives you grace for every season; He arms you with strength for every battle. God has the final say; He said, I am well able, I can do all things through Christ, I am strong in the Lord. the scripture tells us:

Proverbs 4:23 (CEB)

23 More than anything you guard, protect your mind, for life flows from it.

you control the doorway to what you allow in; you can dwell on every negative thought, every derogatory comment, or you can choose to delete it and dwell on what God says about you. some of you would go to a new level if you would just start hitting the delete button. quit dwelling on every negative thought that comes to your mind; that’s the enemy trying to contaminate your software. if he can control your thinking, he can control your whole life. if that thought is negative, discouraging, pushing you down, don’t dwell on it, delete it. pay attention to what you’re thinking; if you go around thinking that you’re not talented, then you’ll never have the confidence to step into your destiny. if you think you’re unattractive, you’ll never meet the people you were supposed to meet. if you think you can’t break the addiction, then you can’t. if you think you’ve reached your limits, then you have. it’s not because you can’t go further, you’ve just convinced yourself that you can’t. the good news is, it’s not too late; you can still become everything God created you to be. you’ve gotta clear out all the negative things people have said about you. you are not who people say you are, you are who God says you are. clear out what the coach, the teacher, said about you; you’re too small, you don’t have what it takes. delete it! quit dwelling on that; you’re the right size, you have exactly what you need for the race that’s been designed for you. clear out what the counselor said; “you’re just a C student, you’re not college material.” delete it! you’re an A student; you have seeds of greatness.

clear out what the ex-boyfriend, the ex-spouse said; “you’re not attractive, you’re not good enough for me.” delete it! you’re a masterpiece, attractive, beautiful, one of a kind, a prize possession. you may have to clear out what a parent said, that person that raised you; “you’re so undisciplined, you’re never going to amount to much, you can’t do anything right.” delete it! you are destined to do great things. you’re destined to leave your mark on this generation. I read a report about children that have been bullied in school; it talked about how years later those negative words were still having an effect. when someone says something about you, either good or bad, that seed is planted in your soil; now you get to determine whether or not that seed takes root and grows. when you dwell on what was said, you are watering the seed; you’re giving it the right to become a reality. that’s why it’s so important that we’re disciplined in our thought life. it’s great when people tell you, “you’re blessed, you’re talented, you’re going to do great things”; water those seeds, meditate on those throughout the day, that’s what you want to become a reality. but too often, the mistake we make is, we water the wrong seeds. they can’t make a seed take root in me, all they can do is sow the seed. you have complete control over what seeds are going to take root and grow in your own soil. a lot of times, we blame others; “they were talking about me, they tried to make me look bad, they were criticizing me.” no, let them talk all they want; you control your own soil. don’t dwell on the negative. don’t replay what they said over and over; guard your mind. those are viruses trying to infiltrate your software. Joshua put it this way:

Joshua 1:8 (NLT)

8 Study this Book of Instruction continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do.

when your mind is filled with thoughts of faith, hope, victory, that’s what’s going to become a reality. somebody may have spoken negative words over you; delete it. people don’t determine your destiny, God determines your destiny. that’s why we start off every message by saying, “I am who God says I am”; we’re saying in effect, “I am not who my history teacher says I am, I’m not who my ex-spouse says I am, I’m not who the critics say I am, I am who God says I am.” I like to take it a step further; not only “I am who God says I am,” but “I can do what God says I can do.” that means, we know we’ve been programmed for victory, to reign in life, overcome obstacles.

Psalm 34:19 (NKJV)

19 Many are the afflictions of the righteous,
But the Lord delivers him out of them all.

we will accomplish our dreams. we will meet the right people. we will step into the fullness of our destinies. when you think like that, all the forces of darkness cannot stop you. friends, the real battle is taking place in your mind. if you’re defeated in your thoughts, you’ve already lost. you’ve got to get rid of the viruses. if you will get back to your original software, put in you by your Creator, you’ll go places that you’ve never dreamed. interesting how little children start off so excited about life, they’ve got big dreams; they’re going to become a scientist, an astronaut, a singer, a teacher, a ballplayer, even the president. they’re not intimidated or insecure, they believe they can do anything; it’s because they just came from their Creator.  their thinking has not been contaminated; they can still feel the seeds of greatness. too often, over time, they start to get reprogrammed; somebody tells them what they can’t become, what they can’t do. little by little, their environment starts to squeeze them down: a coach or teacher says, “you’re not good enough. you’re too small”; their self-esteem goes down. they see somebody more attractive, and they start to feel inferior. all these things begin to distort who they really are. before long, instead of dreaming big and believing possibility thoughts, they think, “I’ll never do anything great. I’m not that talented, I’m just average.” when we find ourselves stuck in these ruts, not believing we can rise any higher, we need to ask, “why do I think this way? who programmed me to think that I’m average? who programmed me to give up on my dreams? who programmed me to think I can’t lose this weight, I can’t break this addiction, I’ve gone as far as I can?” where did those thoughts come from?

could it be that you have accepted a wrong mindset because of the environment you were raised in, the people that you were around? just because it seems normal to you doesn’t mean that it’s necessarily normal; sometimes, we learn to function in our dysfunction. maybe everybody you grew up with was negative; you’re not supposed to be negative, that’s not normal. maybe your friends didn’t have big dreams, they didn’t do anything great in life; that’s not okay for you, that’s not normal. just because family members had addictions, bad habits, don’t make the mistake of thinking that’s okay for you to live that way; those are viruses that have been passed down, they keep infiltrating our thinking. God created you to go further, to be confident, to be free, to be a healthy, positive, happy. you have greatness on the inside. now it starts by reprogramming your thinking. many of us, what we saw modeled growing up, the people that raised us, they were good people, they were doing their best, but they were negative, discouraged; now we live negative, discouraged. they had addictions, low self-esteem; now we struggle in those same areas. or maybe they made poor choices in relationships, got involved with the wrong people; now we’re dealing with the same issues. we saw them accept mediocrity; now mediocrity has become normal to us. the good news is, there is nothing wrong with you; those are simply wrong mindsets that you’ve developed. as you get your thinking straightened out, your life will straighten out. God didn’t make you faulty, He didn’t create you subpar, He created you in His image; you are His masterpiece, crowned with favor, equipped with talent, gifts.  you are destined to live a great life, healthy, abundant, happy, faith-filled.

you’re not supposed to go through life inferior, low self-esteem, addicted, little goals, little dreams; that’s not who you are. start reprogramming your mind as the head and not the tail. reprogram it with excellence, not mediocrity, with abundance, not lack and poverty, with freedom, not addictions. you were made for more than this; you’re not supposed to constantly struggle, to barely make it through life; you can feel those seeds of greatness stirring on the inside.  “this may be where I am, but this is not who I am. I may be in defeat, but I am not defeated; I’m a child of the most high God.”  thoughts tell you, “you have no future”; delete! “God’s plans for me are for good to give me an amazing future.” “you have no money”; delete! “I’m blessed, whatever I touch prospers.” you have no education, you will never get out of here, it’s impossible”; delete delete delete! “God is making a way where I don’t see a way. He’s opening doors that no man can shut, He’s bringing the right people across my path. I will step into the fullness of my destiny.” you may have been raised in a limited environment; all you saw modeled was strife, addictions, conflict, low self-esteem, mediocrity; don’t let that set the limits for your life; God wants you to go further. now it starts by getting rid of the viruses; hit the delete button. the thought tells you, “you’ve gone as far as you can”; delete! “you’ll never get well”; delete! “you’ll always be addicted”; delete! “this is as good as it gets”; delete! if you’ll get good at hitting the delete button, you will break out of bondages, and you will step into freedom. you will break out of lack and poverty and step into abundance. you’ll break out of mediocrity and step up to excellence.

this is a new day; strongholds are coming down, wrong mindsets are being broken, viruses are being cleared out. get ready for God to do something new. get ready to see His goodness in amazing ways. “this sounds encouraging, but I don’t know, all the experts say I’ll never get well, the experts say I’ll never get out of debt, the experts tell me I’ve gone as far as my education allows, this is good as it gets.” I say this respectfully, but the experts can be wrong. according to all the laws of aerodynamics, a bumblebee should not be able to fly; its wingspan is too small for the size of its body, so it can’t get enough lift. here’s the key; nobody told the bumblebee. it didn’t get the memo. no experts were able to talk it out of it. the bumblebee felt its wings on its back, and something in its DNA said, “I’m supposed to fly. I’m not made to just crawl around on the ground.” it didn’t go check with the experts, it didn’t read the latest engineering report, it just did what was natural;  it started flapping its wings, and took off up into the air. if that bumblebee would have been able to read the negative reports, would have been able to listen to the naysayers, it would’ve never gotten off the ground. it starts in our thinking: if you don’t think you can be successful, you won’t. if you don’t think you’re talented, then you’re not. if you don’t think you’ll meet the right people, you never will. not because you’re not able to, but because of your software; your thinking is limiting you. are you allowing negative thoughts to defeat you, stifle your potential?

why don’t you start hitting the delete button? the experts may have told you how impossible it is, how it’s not going to work out, how you’re not going to get well, and again I mean it respectfully, because the experts are doing the best they can with the knowledge that they have, but what I’m saying is, God has the final say. He wouldn’t have put the dream in your heart, given you that promise, if He didn’t have a way to bring it to pass.  delete what the naysayers have told you. delete the discouraging words. delete the negative reports. you gotta get back to your original software. some of you, this is the only thing that’s holding you back. who told you that you can’t be successful? who told you that you can only make C’s in school? who told you you’re not tall enough, not smart enough, that you’ve reached your limits? I can assure you; that did not come from your Creator. those are viruses that are trying to contaminate your software. don’t let what anyone told you or what anyone showed you limit your life.  there is nothing wrong with you; start reprogramming your mind. all through the day, dwell on what your Creator says about you: “I’m blessed, I’m healthy, I’m talented, I’m valuable, my best days are still out in front of me.” if you’ll do this, every virus is being cleared out, even right now. strongholds are coming down, wrong mindsets that have held you back for years will no longer have any affect on you. like Joshua promised, this is a new day; you will have good success and prosper in everything you do.

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I have had dreams on a regular basis for a quarter-century about going to my purse after it had been out of my sight for a time only to find my wallet empty.  This actually happened at a place I used to work long ago, which would logically explain where the dream came from, and dreaming about it near that time, but not still dreaming about it every month or 2 more than half a lifetime later.  Dreams repeat for a reason, which I assume goes double when it does so for decades.  I’ve always believed that my subconscious used the empty wallet as a symbol of things being taken away from me, or my fears thereof;  I certainly have the history of loss to justify it, and of “anxiety dreams” in general.

Early AM of 7-10, I had a version of this dream where I’d been somehow away from my purse because I was trying on a pair of pants at a vintage store (needless to say, I’d always have the bag with me in the changing room in real life).  When I saw the purse sitting in the middle of the floor (I hadn’t been looking for it, it’s as if I’d forgotten about it), I knew my wallet would be empty, and it was…   but this time, a smiling, dark-haired (and I think with a tanned complexion) man, who was suddenly standing very close, facing me, threw a big wad of bills into the open purse;  I’d never had anything in the universe of this happen in this dream before.  I didn’t know who the man was or how or why he was there;  I know there was a man nearby when I was trying on the pants, but I don’t know if it was the same one.  When I said something polite to him like, “Oh no, you don’t have to do that,” he threw ANOTHER wad of bills in my purse, and, although that’s all the action I can recall, I do remember feeling like the $ was meant to be for me, that it was ok that he gave it to me, that it was to make up for what had been taken for me.

When I woke up, my first thought was that this was a message from God, showing me that He was going to repay me for everything I’ve lost…  and not just double, although there were 2 “wads,” because each wad was far more bills than I’d ever carry.  There’s no doubt that God can communicate with us through dreams;  aside from the whole omniscience thing, it’s in the Bible in many places.  I haven’t actually been repaid for anything yet, or seen any hint of what form it might take or when, so the dream was not a subconscious response to an occurrence or upcoming event…  I haven’t even been thinking of being repaid per se.  It just doesn’t make sense for this familiar dream that has never included a repayment option in a couple hundred repetitions to suddenly change;  it FEELS like a message.

And who was the dark-haired man?  God?  God can take any form, certainly.  Jesus?  Contrary to the familiar artistic representations, Jesus would have had dark hair and a tanned complexion, so it’s possible.  If God sent an angel to help me, he could have any sort of appearance… and, greeting cards and Roma Downey shows notwithstanding, all the angels are “male.”  I tend to think that I’d have known if I was faced with a manifestation of God’s power in any form, though, and I’d hope that H/he’d have SAID something… I can’t be SURE, though.

It doesn’t seem like this would be a stranger, so… what dark-haired men do I know?  Men of color aside, and eliminating an uncle who last had dark hair during the Clinton administration, I’ve got a few dark-haired male friends;  it wasn’t any of them, but most of what I’ve lost has nothing to do with $, so it’s all symbolic…  it may have been meant to make me think of them, or the man might represent several people (maybe I’ll figure out who they are later).

The important point is that it seems very likely that this radical turnaround in my long-standing dream is a message of encouragement from God that explosive blessings are coming soon to repay me in spades for what I’ve lost-stay tuned!!

Edit 5-11-15: Restoration x7 was prophesied over me at the beginning of this year, and, although none of the specific things that I’ve lost have come back YET, I have in fact been experiencing explosive blessings. I just re-read this rarely-visited post today for the 1st time since I wrote it 10 months ago, because it got visits on consecutive days; I had totally forgotten it, and am blown away anew by this wildly atypical vision of not only getting paid back, but getting paid back many times over. Maybe it’s not connected, but it feels like it IS…

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