Archive for May 25th, 2013

I’ve been certain for ages that God wants me to go to seminary, and to minister in prisons.  As I’m sure is the case for most people, I didn’t know anyone with any connection to these things…  or so I thought.  I mentioned to the N-friend about seminary, and she told me that she has a niece who went to a seminary that she really loved in a neighboring state!!  I’ve asked her to get me some info about that so I can make a contact that will help me get local “spiritual help.”  That felt like a confirmation of what God wanted.  And then on 5-24 I got an email back from the K-friend, who I’d just told about the prison ministry thing, in which she said:

“I used to teach meditation at a men’s prison. I also used to bring 12 step meetings into the women’s prison and even sponsored a woman for a couple years behind bars. There’s nothing quite like being shut up in a room, alone, with a bunch of felons for the first time. Then it becomes perfectly natural. Some of my most gratifying experiences have been with prisoners. I’ve also been working on a creative writing program for prisoners; I just haven’t had time to launch it yet. I think you will love this work.”


No one can tell me that people in my life (and I don’t have a big group of intimates) having a connection to seminary and experience working with PRISONERS, and never mentioning it until *I* needed guidance to pursue these things, can be accidental or coincidental;  this is God showing me how to start moving towards my goal by giving me people to talk to who can help me.

What prompted me to tell the N-friend about seminary (on 2-7-13)?  Feeling the first need to reach out to others when it looked like the D-friend might be pulling a disappearing act. What prompted me to contact the K-friend, who I hadn’t been corresponding with in a while, and try to draw her back into the meaningful zone of my life?  The D-friend sending me a kiss-off email.  This also led to me emailing some other friends that I’d stopped struggling to keep in contact with, and we’ve had some amazing “reunions” (in quotes because we haven’t seen each other, just talked on the phone, as they don’t live nearby).  I’ll need these friends restored to closeness for support for seminary and beyond, and to help me with all areas of my personal relations so I won’t get too dependent on 1-2 people again.

And, it has led to my roommate and I having another big leap towards recovering the fullness of our relationship, because he was so disgusted with her behavior that he felt some actual sympathy (of which he frankly has very little in his personality) and reached out enough to meet me almost halfway…  AND, he has now declared his intention to get my mother’s house ready for rental once the school year is over, which will certainly be nice after how long I’ve been waiting.

And…  this “severance” will also benefit me on several levels with the most important person in my life, whose return is feeling closer all the time.  In fact, my biggest concern about how we’d ever be back together was how SHE would react, and how I could make it ok for HER.

AND, it’s made me aware of how the D-friend was, as described non-coincidentally in JO’s sermon from 4-22, “Taking control of your happiness,” which was the last one broadcast before that kiss-off email came, a controller, a manipulator, someone who could not be made happy no matter how much I did for her, unless I was also giving her total control of my life.  When I saw that sermon, I immediately saw that it was a message about her, and I tried to talk myself out of it, because I was still hoping for things to work out the easy way…  but God doesn’t do things the easy way, He does them the RIGHT way, and for me to be emotionally dependent and yanked around by someone like that when I’m meant to LEAD, not follow, and when He simply does not want me to be treated with contempt, would keep me in a subservient, noxious situation which would prevent me from being and giving my best.  I had long since been pondering how I’d have to keep my seminary and ministry involvement, by far the biggest things I’ll ever do, SECRET from her to keep her from trying to dictate how I do them;  this should have been a BIG CLUE to me, and seen as part of the overall pattern of having to tailor my life to suit her as described in the previous paragraph, but since it wasn’t God stepped in to fix it.

That’s a ton of major benefits from ONE kiss-off letter!!  God is very efficient;  I’ve seen over and over how He tends to take a small action that creates ripples like a stone thrown into a pond, becoming a far bigger effect than one would have imagined.  And there may be more to come.  What’s certain is that this will cause me to end up far beyond where I’d have been had it not happened;  God’s blessings are astonishing.

Edit early 5-26:  Something I’ve loved the thought of for a long time is having a little herd of goats.  I had the urge to track down another long-lost friend, and discovered that she has…  guess what?!!  There’s ZERO doubt that God has arranged for me to get back together with these people!!

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