Archive for October, 2011

(2:50 PM)

Yesterday, I had to be someplace insanely early (by my usual insane sleep schedule), and was already so tired I could barely function;  the idea of having a long, difficult day on a couple of hours of sleep, or maybe NONE, since several times recently I hadn’t been to bed until the time I’d have to be getting up, was not making me happy.  However, the place I had to be was a church to give support to a close friend for a memorial for people who had recently passed away, and although she had tried to excuse me from the event I was determined to go.

I had so much to do the night before, and so much stress, and was wearily hoping to get 3 hours of sleep, with 4.5 hours as a wild fantasy…  when I suddenly started feeling sleepy.  It was HOURS earlier than the earliest time I’d been to bed in…  a decade?…  but I went with it, brushed my teeth and such, and went to bed, hardly daring hope… but I ended up getting nearly SEVEN hours of sleep!!

And it gets even better:  Last night I got to bed within an hour of the previous night’s unprecedented time, and, despite an idiot waking me up after 6 hours of sleep, which usually means the end of further sleeping, I ended up getting nearly NINE hours of sleep!!

There’s no doubt in my mind that this incredible bounty of sleep was God’s doing, and His reward for my being determined to go as sleepless as necessary to be there for my friend.  I didn’t even ASK for the miraculous bedtime of the first day;  that was a pure gift of His love.  I DID ask for help with the 2nd night, and for me to have been up for an HOUR and then gone back to bed and slept over 3 more hours is astonishing under any circumstances, doubly so with my already having been blessed the previous night.

As a bonus, God also gave me my 9th eyelid image (the other 8 being 11-1-10, 11-19-10, 11-24-10, 1-21-11, 3-22-11, 2 on 5-28-11, and 10-5-11);  interestingly, I also dreamed about a friend last night, just as with the 8th image, and it was also a pattern like it was that time.

{a break while I look this stuff up}

And…  the night I had the 6th AND 7th images, the 2nd one was OF the friend…  and the 5th image was also of him!!  And all the previous images were from BEFORE my mother’s death that led to he and I becoming close.  Am I actually getting stupider this year, that I’m just now noticing this?!!!!!!!  There’s obviously a connection and a meaning here;  what I don’t yet know, but with God involved it must be to my benefit.

The actual image started out like lines of dashes, something that made me think of a weave in a sweater, and then became a very clear and regular pattern of small polka dots;  not very flashy, but it still counts.

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Angels in animals?

(3:52 AM)

I had a dream on the 16th that I’ve mostly forgotten, but at the end I was walking down a city street, not sure where I was going or why, and it evolved (devolved?) into a wide black road that was very wet-looking as if it had just rained, with nothing else around.  I realized that I was dreaming (aka lucid dreaming), and started saying “Time to wake up now”…  and then something that has never happened to me in a dream occurred.  I felt as if a giant hand scooped me up and carried me away through the air.  I knew that it was God, and I asked if I could see Him, or at least a friend, but instead I was taken to…  it was inside somewhere, and there were animals, most prominently several baby giraffes sitting on the floor, sort of glowing, haloed-looking…  and I said something like “Those are angels?  Angels are inside animals?”  I lost all lucidity and the dream dribbled off into my looking at other animals, but I take even a small bit of spiritual dream content very seriously, and I kept thinking about it, and the next day I thought aloud about the angels in animals idea, and I suddenly choked up, which is my usual signal of having accessed a Divine truth.  It seems so odd, and despite my passion for, and unusually deep connectedness with, animals, part of me wants to dismiss it out of hand…  but I won’t.  My mind will stay fully open so that anything God sends me will fall right in.

If YOU were an angel, might you not want to sometimes take an animal form?  Might not being in such a form allow you to get a closer and clearer view of the true nature of a person you wanted to guide?  Hmmmmmmmmm……….

Edit:  God has “sent” me a “coincidental” video to show that He’s here and handling things, that other things going on are NOT coincidences, a bunch of times.  I’m watching VH1 Classic, and that ridiculous but catchy song about how Istanbul used to be Constantinople came on and stuck in my head.  When I finished up here and checked the referral tracking for my other blog, the topmost visitor there had come from…  guess where?  Even more eerily, that visit came THREE MINUTES after I started the above post.  Some things ARE coincidences, but when they come close together along with a religious essay I take notice.  God is in control, so I need fear nothing, for His will cannot be thwarted and His plan for me will always lead to my triumph.

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(1:13 AM)

From JO’s sermon tonight:

Let go of the frustration of having to have it your way;  when you release it, it’s an act of faith.

Don’t say “God help me, but do it my way.”  Take your hands off the wheel;  in order for God to help us, we have to be willing to let go.

Sometimes, what we’re believing for is not God’s best.  Maybe it didn’t go your way because your dream is too small, and God loves you too much to only give you the smaller dream.

God let YOUR will, not MY will, be done.

What you thought was a setback turns out to be a set up.

What I thought would be the darkest hour of my life, the death of my father, turned out to be the brightest hour of my life;  it launched me to where I am now. (My mother’s death has been that for me in many ways.)

Learn to let it go, and God will take you to a higher level of your destiny.

There are some situations that there are no logical explanations for.  Say, “I don’t have to have all the answers. You’re God and I’m not, and I won’t waste any energy trying to figure it out.”

If God wants you to know why, He’s God, He’ll tell you.  If He’s not revealing it to you, leave it alone.  Some things God doesn’t want you to know.  If you’re going to trust God, you have to accept the fact that there will be unanswered questions.  Don’t put a question mark where God has put a period.

If you let go, for everything you lost God will give you a new seed.

Edit 10-20:  When I make a new post, I always bring up the blog to be sure it posted correctly, but virtually never look at any previous entries…  but today I did.  On 10-13 I got a very upsetting email from a friend that seemed like a real setback, and just now I scanned the above post and the following jumped out at me:

What you thought was a setback turns out to be a set up.

Not a coincidence.  God is clearly in control, and I have faith that He will make it all work out.

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(11:30 PM)

Today I had my 8th “eyelid image” ever (the other 7 being 11-1-10, 11-19-10, 11-24-10, 1-21-11, 3-22-11, and 2 on 5-28-11).  I had dozed off briefly, and woke up only having a shred of a dream left;  a friend had said to me, and possibly other people, at least another man (?), something like “This is the most honest I’ve been about it in 33 years.”  The image was something like a triangle fractal, in fact that’s what it came into my mind that it WAS, but it wasn’t quite, as there weren’t gradations of triangle sizes in multiples of 3 but mainly one bigger size on a grid of much smaller ones, slightly blurry white lines drawn on black.  Even weirder, the design wasn’t the way you’d expect it, as if you were looking at a screen, it was as if there were 2, let’s call them sheets of paper, held horizontally but bent outwards at the end, and I was looking at it end-on.  My thought was that it was an event horizon, when in fact it’s not, and doesn’t even look like one.  The image persisted powerfully, and seemed so “solid” that my still-fuzzy brain wondered if my eyes were open or closed;  I then opened them, and my bedroom was barely visible because the design was still there, overlapping reality, which was astonishing and totally new.  I closed my eyes, and the image persisted.  I tried to focus in more clearly but failed;  I wasn’t actually seeing with my eyes, I’m guessing, so I don’t know how to look more closely.  When I opened my eyes again, it was still there but more faintly, and when I closed my eyes it faded away.

Why does God periodically give me these images when I could never visualize before?  I don’t know, but it’s getting interesting…

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