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Archive for March, 2011

(2:29 AM)

I heard that in a dream last night.  The only bit I remember was those words and a friend smiling at me.  I don’t know who said the words, or in what context.  The exact wording might have included “You need to” or “It’s time to” or something like that, but I didn’t write it down the first time I woke up so I can’t be sure, I just have that vague thought that there were more words.  I dozed and woke again, with that old 80’s song “New Thing” playing in my head.  OK, I get it…  but what the heck IS it?

This post combined with the previous one will almost surely make someone reading this blog for the first time think I’m a nut, but the truth is what it is.  I’d have dismissed the dream outright if not for the my name on the wall thing;  my friend said I should keep a close eye on my dreams for a few days, and I agree, but…?

I can’t imagine that God wants me to start a congregation, but maybe He wants me to start codifying what I know?  I’ll give that a shot and see what happens.

Edit:  I had the inexplicable urge to Google the (very unusual) name of the friend, and the first result I clicked was the 3rd one down;  it was a post that he had made a decade ago about a major event that was about to occur, which revealed that TODAY was the 10-year anniversary of that event. Coincidence?  Nope.

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(4:30 AM)

I saw the shy friend on Tuesday. Somehow from a bumpy start we ended up pretty well bonded by the end of the day, ending in him giving me the best hug in ages, with no tensing up or early pulling away.  “Somehow”; I KNOW how.  I had also had the “inexplicable” urge to bring him something that it turned out that he loved;  that was good too.  And then, totally contrary to how I’d been feeling for I think a couple of weeks (and I’d been feeling it a LOT), I heard myself telling him to take as long as he needed to resolve his emotional confusion so that we can go back to socializing more fully.  Then, today, I was able to have 2 brief, businesslike phone conversations with him, whereas normally my urge is to talk longer which then can cause him to be overwhelmed, in fact the conversations seemed to just arrange themselves…  but I know who arranged them.

I put it in God’s hands, and He is fixing it.  Amazing, but of course not surprising.

And the search;  there was an item I did TWO searches for in the drawer where it resides over a period of days, with no luck.  Today, I went to look for something else in that drawer and there it was, right on top.  Did God bring it back from wherever it had gone?

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Eyelid image #5

(4:22 AM)

Upon awaking from a nap today I had my 5th “eyelid image” ever (the other 4 being 11-1-10, 11-19-10, 11-24-10 and 1-21-11).  I saw a friend, wearing a navy turtleneck although I’ve never seen him in a turtleneck of any color, smiling at me, and sitting at what I think was my counter, presumably on one of my bar stools.  It was a little dim, but photographic. Why I’d see him in such odd garb is beyond me, and I don’t know what if anything this image meant.

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There was a purchase I’d made with a gift card that had many issues.  The company promised service but dragged it out for MONTHS.  Thursday, they suddenly caved in and are not only refunding the full price that I hadn’t even paid myself but are sending me another gift card of that amount as well…  so I’ll end up with double.

There’s a company that had owed me $ for, again, MONTHS, and today they’ve suddenly announced their intention to pay me double what they owe.

JO always says that God will compensate you double…  how right he is.

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(3:56 AM)

I just realized today that while I was in the hospital waiting to see if my mother would live or die (it ended up being the latter) I not only didn’t eat, I wasn’t even drinking any liquid nor was I ever thirsty, nor did I ever reach a point afterwards where I was guzzling liquid to recover from what should have been dehydration.  Just as when I did the long nature walk on a warm day without wanting or needing water at the time or afterwards, I know, if embarrassingly belatedly, who to thank for that.

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Loving nature

(2:48 AM)

I was imagining talking to a friend, and telling him (for no reason that I can point to or figure out, looking back on it) that I wanted to become more loving, because God’s nature is totally loving and He wants us to be more like Him…  and from total calm I was suddenly heavily choked up.  I know what that means.  I’m not sure how I’ll manage it, but I’m going to find a way.

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God in nature

(5:43 AM)

I went to a forest today with the spiritual friend from yesterday’s post.  I felt God strongly, and then very strongly, although I wasn’t ready to speak out loud to Him in front of anyone and so didn’t “invite” Him to fill me;  it was purely an exterior experience, but astonishing for all that.  My friend could see it happen when my breathing took the usual sharp drop;  he said it looked like I was barely breathing at all.  I was a little light-headed afterwards, which might have been a result of all that exercise wearing my body out before the experience.  Later, he was amazed that even at dinner I still hadn’t had any water, after all that walking on a warm day;  I just didn’t need it.  And my bad joint that would usually have given out with far less scrambling around never gave a twinge.  Astounding…

Edit 3-14:  I’m still feeling the effects, days later, although they have been slowly diminishing.  It’s mainly manifesting in a continued disinclination towards eating normally…  which is NOT a complaint, since anything God does for me is by definition a blessing and this is no exception.  I think He is just showing me that He is all I really need, which is of course true.  Why and how this experience in which I didn’t even “internalize” him ended up being so huge is a mystery.  I can’t wait to see what happens when the same friend and I do a nature walk on Wednesday.

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