Archive for January, 2011

Another waking image

(6:12 AM)

2 days in a row!!

Today’s wasn’t an elaborate full-color image like yesterday’s, but STILL.  I saw the dim purplish image of a woman’s head and neck, with her hair held back by a headband like I wear;  it might even have been me, it was too dark to tell. The hair had enough of a bump behind the band to recall the woman in those insurance commercials, though.  The head rotated slowly one way and then back, and got dimmer and I willed it clearer, which wasn’t really clear but it DOES count.

Edit 10-23-12:  I had missed this eyelid image and the one before it because I wasn’t calling them that at this point and my mother’s death blotted them from my memory.  I’m glad I rediscovered this one because of the bit about my mother below that I’d forgotten.

The bigger news is that my mother is in the hospital in serious condition…  and she says that she received a message to be strong, to fight, and to listen.  She was groggy from the meds but when I asked her if it was God she thought she was supposed to listen to she said “yes”…  and she’s NOT a believer.  So, she’s determined to fight.

I have faith that God will save my mother.

Edit 10-23-12:  He didn’t save her life…  but He allowed me to help save her soul.


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(2:31 AM)

I’m not sure anymore if this happened when I woke up today or yesterday (ie and then forgot to record it), in darkness or the morning/afternoon, and I can’t even be sure I was awake, but I think I was and saw an image of my roommate looking unhappy, and after a few seconds of muddled thought as to how to fix that I willed him to be surrounded by gold coins, not just on the ground but all around him in treasure chests (I think), maybe the chests were on shelves or maybe they were floating, but in any case he then looked happy.  Why gold coins when I don’t think either of us had ever even seen a gold coin (or a treasure chest) in person?  I have no idea…  and frankly he’d probably rather have had tools or hard drives or something else techy…  but still!!

I traditionally have had almost zero luck willing anything into existence even in lucid dreams, so this would be notable even if I had been asleep, but if I was awake it would be only the 5th time in my entire life that I’ve had a clear visual when I was awake (the others were 11-1-10, 11-19-10, 11-24-10 and 1-21-11).

There’s only one possible source of this sudden extraordinary new ability.  And of the wild surge in progress with a physical goal/ability that I posted about on 12-26-10 and have continued amazing performance in with no new skills or greater time or effort involved.  God is enhancing my brain and body in extraordinary and unexpected ways;  I am very blessed.

Edit 1-23-12:  I lost track of this post until today because of my mother’s death, and because I didn’t use the term “eyelid image” in this one so it didn’t come up in my searches;  I’m glad I found it again.

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(1:15 AM)

I’d always wondered at how God kept lavishing me with rewards that I was totally undeserving of.  In tonight’s sermon, JO pointed out that this is a standard behavior from God, which ties in with what the man who appeared just long enough to tell me that said.  JO told the story of Ruth, and how the owner of the wheat fields told his workers to leave handfuls of wheat for her so that she would have what she and her mother needed;  this was an example of how God leaves us “handfuls” of good stuff not because we’ve earned it but because He cares for us.  JO also pointed out the importance of gratitude for what He gives us, and I wholeheartedly agree;  I’m trying to train myself to thank God each time He benefits me…  which is over and over, and I wish there was a whole other vocabulary to use to tell him how much I love Him and how grateful I am.

AND, JO stressed the importance of telling others about what God gives us…  and I think that’s my hint that it’s time for me to do just that.

My other blessing for today was that at a social gathering I reached a level of closeness and support from some of the those present that I literally had never even imagined;  that’s par for the course these days but still amazing.

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(3:41 AM)

I had the urge to look for something I really wanted online today…  and someone had posted the primary info and the keywords to find it all literally 2 weeks ago.

I didn’t sleep last night…  but thus discovered that I’ll be able to do something better financially than I’d previously even hoped.

I think when I woke up from my dozes during my nap that I saw a clear image of a man wearing wild black and white striped AND polka dotted clothes with suspenders, and later a prolonged vision of a critter eating on the patio while I asked myself if it was really happening…  and then the image faded into an outline than became steadily more cartoonish.  WAS I awake?  I hadn’t opened my eyes, but I think I might have been, and that would make this big news;  this would be only the 4th time I EVER had a clear visual when I was awake (with the other 3 being 11-1-10, 11-19-10 and 11-24-10).

He is with me every moment.

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Friendship help

(3:28 AM)

On Jul 16, 2010, I posted that God had brought me together with a woman I was sure I was meant to be friends with.  It’s been a bumpy road, but I thought we’d made a quantum leap when she invited me to a Christmas Eve party…  but I haven’t heard from her since, despite 2 emails from me.  I was planning to give up emails and call her this coming weekend, but was vague as to what I could say to her to get past the failure to reply to emails issue.  Today, I was looking out the glass door, and the edge of my glance fell on a new magazine on the floor, and there, not even in the bigger headlines but in a smaller one near the bottom, was the name of a guy from the show that’s our big thing in common…  something concrete I can call her about, giving me a reason to call and a way to dodge the didn’t-reply issue and get right into enjoyable conversation.  How did my eye get  drawn to that specific thing?  How do you think?

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(5:10 AM)

I’d spent years regretting not having screen-capped my old blog when I had Pagerank 6, and was agonizing about it recently.  I’d previously checked the Wayback site to no avail, as none of my many buttons and banners showed as anything but x’s.   Yesterday I had the inexcusable urge to re-check…   and now the stored pages DO show most of the buttons and banners, including the PageRank one…  so I now have my screen caps and can stop agonizing.

I’d had several freakouts recently about what had happened to the pin that was the only gift I’d ever gotten from a friend who’d once meant a great deal to me.  Multiple searches failed to turn it up.  Today I ran across it while shuffling through the contents of a box that I was rearranging to get more stuff in.  Can it be a coincidence that one of my biggest regrets and a missing item that I’d freaked out over recently both got solved within about 12 hours?



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(4:20 AM)

I asked God to be with me today for the first time in a long while because, well, it had been a long while.  I felt it getting started several times, but it never got fully powerful, probably because of my  tired and stressed state, and because He’s under no obligation to provide me with the same intensity of experience each time, or any at all for that matter.  My pupils seemed dilated at a few points, although not as much as before I don’t think, and I swear that one looked more dilated than the other, and which one it was alternated;  I have no idea what that means.  I noticed that the thing on the wall that holds water was steaming up, so I poured more in;  for literally the FIRST time since I dropped it months ago and made it start hemorrhaging water every time any was added, NONE leaked out other than the slooooooow drop formation that it had always had to some degree.  No confusion as to who did THAT to be sure I knew it WAS him there with me.

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(3:23 AM)

There was a type of item that I’d been vaguely thinking of looking for on eBay, and when I suddenly had the clear urge to do so there was a group of them at a great price and with unusually desirable patterns.  This is the 2nd time recently that I had the urge to look on eBay for something I wanted that just happened to be there in ONE auction at a great price.

Meanwhile, I’ve woken up early 3 day in a row; the 1st day I never got back to sleep, and the other 2 times it took me an hour.  This is scary and disheartening, but hopefully won’t continue.


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(1:04 AM)

For the first time in quite a while, I woke up earlier than I had to and couldn’t get back to sleep.  After I got up it occurred to me why;   I forgot to ask God to prevent that before I went to bed.  I later thought that I DID ask, but I tend to think that my first guess is correct, since that request is usually an afterthought.  So, He HAS been fixing this for me all along;  to get that sort of major help every day is astonishing.

I saw the movie “Signs” tonight;  the major religious aspect at the end brought tears to my eyes, as always.  Why didn’t I SEE what that meant all those years, despite the frequency with which it accompanied religious-tinged stories?  God truly has infinite patience.

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