Archive for October, 2010

I posted on 8-30 that I’d gotten 2 extra prizes from a website I’d won 3 raffles on because whoever was in charge of fulfillment somehow thought that I’d gotten none of my 3 wins as opposed to just missing 1 out of 3.  Today, I got a gift code that says it’s for $50, when what I was owed $15, from some decision-maker from a company I’d done some work for that had “lost” the record of my work;  did someone say $15 and he heard $50, or will the code actually be $15 and he just wrote it wrong?  I’m betting on the former…  since the extra raffle prizes I got added up to $50, and the extra $ I got from the company that perpetrated The Bad Thing was $51, which means the guy meant to send me $50 and can’t do arithmetic in his head.  This pattern is just too glaring and specific to ignore.  And I know Who to thank.

I wasn’t going to ask God to be with me today, but when I said that to Him, explaining why (because He’d already done so much for me the past few days), I suddenly had chills all over my body despite being surrounded by hot water;  this is the first time He affected me physically without my asking Him to.  It kept happening in waves, so much so that I paradoxically started wondering if it was in response to some freaky temperature thing caused by the fan being on;  when I neurotically asked Him to be with me just for a minute in the normal way because I wasn’t fully accepting that it was really happening because of Him, He did.  I wish I wasn’t anxious and needy, but clearly He understands.

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My mother has been in the hospital for 3 weeks.  Her health is such that even 2 more years of life would be medically impressive.  Yesterday, a new person was put in her room for just a few hours.  During that time, a bunch of people came to provide spiritual support via prayer, Bible reading and even singing.  I was on the phone with her when they showed up, and she was unhappy that it was going to happen, but I told her…  something positive and encouraging, I can’t remember what.

Today she revealed that they offered to include her, and she agreed, perhaps because of what I’d said.  It turned out to be a beautiful and powerful experience, and one of the women held onto my mother’s foot to help her feel connected.  As a bonus, the group was from a culture that had special meaning for her.  For her to be given this powerful spiritual experience from total strangers who were only there long enough to provide it is to me total proof of God’s presence;  when I said this to her, she agreed.  Even my aunt, who is open-minded but not a believer, admitted that it had occurred to her that this experience was a sign from God.


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Odd assistance

Don’t get me wrong, every time God helps me it’s a wonderful and precious gift for which I’m profoundly grateful, but some kinds of help ARE a little unusual:

A few days ago, as I was about to collapse in an exhausted and drug-assisted haze to get some sleep, I spotted a fly in the room.  Knowing it would start buzzing around in a few hours when the sun came up, I wasted a bunch of time staggering around trying to kill it.  Finally, unable to locate it, I gave up and went to bed;  amazingly, I never heard anything from it.  A few days later, I noticed something black on my bedclothes…  and it turned out to be a dead fly.  A fly just dropped dead on my BED.  It wasn’t crushed or in any way damaged, it was just dead.  I don’t make the bed, so it could’ve been there for any length of time…  but I know when it died.  What else can I think?

Today, I made a webcam video that I’m being paid for.  As my roommate was heading back to the computer to turn off the recording mode, he saw that the PC had CRASHED.  The only rational assumption was that the video, having crashed midstream, was GONE…  and I had no way to duplicate the project I’d just demonstrated.  Yet, very bizarrely for ME, I wasn’t flooded with the expected fear…  and it turned out that the entire video was somehow THERE.  My roommate says it’s a miracle. Indeed.


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Although the specialist said that my mother “might have some slight improvement” from her current treatment, she has already had fairly huge improvement, with half of the treatment left to go;  no confusion as to Who to thank for THAT.

And, I was freaking at how I kept waking up without being able to remember more than a hint of my dreams…  and suddenly a chunk of dream came back to me.

And;  a couple of nights ago, after seeing some friends, I had I think several dreams where I was doing some sort of cool project;  sadly, these were among the dreams I couldn’t remember, but I so very rarely have a dream about doing anything cool, I mean I literally can’t think of any other examples, that it’s very significant.  I’ve ASKED for dreams like this, and I was given some.  I also had a dream that we were going to be doing something, going somewhere, with those same friends, a few days earlier, and that sort of counts too.


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More amazing help

Last night, my mother launched into an upsetting line of convo on the phone, and I got up and started to pace…  and then suddenly I felt calm and sat back down.  My anxiety has NEVER shut off like that before, so I know Who to thank.  I also got 9 hours of sleep, much to my relief.  Amazing…

Edit, 10-26:  I’m pretty sure that that was the same night (I know it was a night that I’d had serious concern for my mother’s health because of some news or other) where I looked out the next day and  saw that a bush that had in recent weeks gone from vigorous health to a handful of yellowish leaves, and which I’d asked God to rescue, was suddenly covered with hundreds of new sprouts.  I look at that bush every day, so the timing wasn’t in doubt, and it had NOT been given fertilizer or any other treatment.  A sign?

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One of our 2 wild animal babies from the family that visits us didn’t come with her brother and mother last night, or tonight, which had never happened before, and I was getting very worried.  I asked God to please let me see her, if only for a minute, so that I’d know she was ok. About 3 minutes later, literally, one of the wind chimes started jingling madly, and there she was, on the fence yanking away…  she broke it, too, the bad girl!!…  but she was THERE, making absolutely sure I saw her before she took off.  I asked to see her for a minute, and almost instantly I DID;  amazing!!


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Hope for my mother

Yesterday I asked God to be with me for an unprecedented 3rd week in a row…  it’s just that I’m so crushed with the stress of my mother’s illness.  I was getting the goose bumps reaction again, on my legs as well as my arms this time, which is of course a marvelous gift, but I really needed to feel Him in me filling up that shaking emptiness.  It wasn’t happening more than a little, and I finally said that I figured that I was too jangly for Him to fill me without having to alter me more than He prefers to to undo the extra excitation to my system, but I asked Him to fill me for just a minute, so that I could feel His strength…  and He DID, just for a minute but it meant the world.

Then, later, after I’d spoken to my mother, suddenly I felt normal, like everything was ok.  This came out of nowhere based on nothing;  she maybe sounded a tiny bit better, but nothing remotely sufficient to have caused this.  I know that this was His doing.  He is going to save my mother.


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I had scary news about my mother today.  After I’d paced maniacally for 3 hours, I was just starting to settle down when the animal family showed up.  I  opened the door and held out my hand to the mother.  She uncharacteristically sniffed not just my hand but my lower forearm, and then ran her little muddy paw back down my arm and hand before turning to the kibble.  Extraordinary experience, especially with that dead-on timing. It didn’t feel like a coincidence.

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Monday, I woke up after a wonderful 10 hour sleep and thought to ask, for the first time in a while, for a big-$ job.  And got one.  Even though their quota that I fit into was already filled.  I also asked for $ for my roommate, and it looks like he’s getting something starting this week.  Amazing.

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A day of miracles

I got TEN hours of sleep!!!!!!!!!

The woman I believe that God brought to me to be my friend FINALLY contacted me of her own volition!!

2 issues, one somewhat protracted and one very long-standing, got resolved today, both in better ways than I’d expected.

Last night, the animals babies I was dying to see showed up.  My heart sank, though, because I was about to stagger off to sleep…  and as if they’d heard me, they only stayed a couple of minutes, which they’d NEVER done before. Then, tonight, they showed up far earlier than ever before, as if to make it possible for me to spend time with them.

I’m VERY lucky.

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