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Archive for July, 2010

Once again, the woman I’m hoping to become friends with didn’t call today.  I tried calling her several times, but it went right to voice mail.

If I HAD spoken to her, I’d have tried to set up plans for Wednesday or Thursday, since I’d assume that her husband would expect her to be doing stuff with him on the  weekend and my Fridays are pretty busy.

Less than an hour after I’d given up trying to call her, I received an email from the wife of the man we’re most interested in becoming better friends with, asking us to come over THURSDAY, which means that day will be too hectic for another get-together, and Wednesday will also be a train wreck of doing my hair and the prep for Thursday.

And that’s why God didn’t induce the other woman to call me, or help me to reach her yet;  being invited over to that man’s house like this, without any hinting or prompting from me, and with the reason being that we’re going to able to do him a big favor, do something important to him together, and enhance our friendship, rather than just making plans because it’s a holiday weekend, is HUGE…  and, once again, beyond anything I could have even envisioned much less thought to ask for.

God’s plan is clearly superior to my ideas.  I’ll eventually talk to and spend time with this other woman;  He’ll see to that.  I have FAITH.  Faith in His intention to help me and to do so in a better way than I could guess in advance;  I’m going to work on having faith that His plan will be infinitely better than whatever I was asking Him for.

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I spoke too soon

I posted a few hours ago that my faith that God would allow the man I most want to become better friends with to meet the heavy hitters that were available at the job my roommate brought him into for that exact purpose had not led to the desired action happening.  When my roommate got back from doing that job today (without  the friend, as his part was done), he announced that he’d learned that out of THOUSANDS of inputs for this job by multiple groups of work units, literally 2% had been chosen from which the final group would be picked…  and one of them is a high-profile one that our friend was responsible for!!  The heavy hitters will SEE IT!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

God DID fulfill the desire I had faith about, just in HIS way rather than the way *I* wanted.  Guess whose way is better?  My friend would probably have rather met the heavy hitters directly, but the message he hoped to give them about his work will come through just as well FROM his work;  yes, he’s not getting the thrill of a direct meeting…  at least not YET, because God might not be done…  but if he’d met them there’s no guarantee that he’d have been able pass along his message even if they gave him enough of their time to do more than greet them, it’s not like it’d be a natural part of any conversational flow that they’d have tossed at him, and this way they’ll be STUDYING his work and absorbing his message, which objectively is better for him.

Once again, God has given me a gift in a way beyond what I had imagined.

I have faith that the heavy hitters WILL see and check out my friend’s work.  I have faith that my friend’s work WILL be one of the final ones chosen.  And, I have faith that the heavy hitters and my friend WILL end up face to face as a result of this, and thus that it will be a total triumph.

I  need to give God more time to provide His blessings before I believe that a desired blessing isn’t coming;  there ARE blessings that I will NOT receive no matter what my level of faith, and that’s 100% right, but I must keep in mind that God blesses me beyond what any rational person could expect even a loving, generous God to do, because His love is just that immense, and be more patient.

I am so lucky.  I am in awe of His love, and want only to return it and serve His will, and make Him happy.  Faith, I’m coming to believe, is what makes Him happy, and to please Him I will spend the rest of my life trying to feel INFINITE faith.

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Faith is NOT a guarantee that we’ll get what we ask for.

I had pretty solid faith that the man that I most want to be better friends with would get to interact with the heavy hitters that were there somewhere where he and my roommate were working the past couple of days at our invitation;  it really seemed like that was the whole point of God giving us the gift of being able to bring him along.

It didn’t happen.

Disappointing, of course, as this would have greatly benefitted our friend, who’s a good guy, as well as our budding friendship with him.  I still understand and agree with the concept that God doesn’t give us everything we want for the same reason you wouldn’t give even the best-behaved child everything they want, but…  hopefully our friend had a good enough time that this moves us forward rather than setting us back.

Also, the woman I’m hoping to become friends with didn’t call on Friday like she said she would, or yesterday either, despite my faith that she would…  and I’m hoping desperately to not have to pursue her to try to start the friendship.  I still have faith that God will prompt her to call me before it becomes necessary for ME to call to keep things going;  the “coincidences” have been so thick on the ground that it seems utterly certain that God brought us together, and if I have to start chasing her it’ll make it very difficult to become friends, so…  well, He doesn’t HAVE to do it, obviously, and He doesn’t owe me anything after all He’s given me, or at all…  but I still have faith that He WILL, as I AM certain that He didn’t just bring me together with this woman to taunt me with what I can’t have.

On the plus side, I had faith that He’d help some animal babies that were trapped on the roof be taken away by their mommy before a hawk or Animal Control showed up, and He did;  He’s still listening, He’s just following the Plan and I need to learn to wait patiently rather than expect everything all at once.

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I had faith that an unresolved issue would be fixed today, even though if the idiot responsible was going to respond to my email and fix it it should’ve been YESTERDAY, because job emails went out then and I’d told her that was her last chance before I reported her, and in fact it was on my calendar to report her today…  but it DID get fixed today, and without further intervention from me, as I discovered when a job email showed up for the first time in AGES.

Tonight, one of my animal visitors brought her BABIES along when she showed up to eat!!  Such beautiful little creatures, even though they did stomp and eat half my plants, lol.

The new friend who was supposed to have called today didn’t.  I have faith that she’ll call tomorrow.

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I had faith that big $ would come my way today.  A company I’m not sure I even remember signing up with sent me a job that was not only well-paying but has a big bonus for the best performer…  and I have total faith that that will be ME, because with God’s help I really nailed it.

I had faith that a friend would call me today;  no particular friend, just someone, and I don’t get many calls so this was a bigger deal than you’d think.  And God came through bigger and better than I could have thought to ask for:  My roommate was told that he needed to bring in someone to work with him on a job he’s doing tomorrow, and this job will bring them into contact with some heavy hitters.  I instantly realized that the man I most want to become better friends with would be perfect for this, not just because he can do it but because these specific heavy hitters are ones that he’d very much want to work around.  I called his wife, she called him at work, and, of course, he then called ME.  This large favor we’re doing for him should get us in tighter with him, and I intend to strike while the iron is hot and suggest another get-together with them once the dust settles.  VERY cool.

I have faith that, having set this up, God will assist my friend to meet and talk to those people he’s hoping to interact with, in part because he’s a deserving person and in part because God clearly intends for me to continue making social progress and the better my friend does tomorrow the more kindly inclined he’ll be towards hanging out with me.

And speaking of friends;  the woman I hope to make a friend out of is supposed to call me tomorrow so we can set up a time to see each other next week.  I have faith that, since God very clearly steered us together, He will make sure that she calls and all goes well.

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I got a call today from the company that signed me on for a high-paying job yesterday;  they had more questions to verify that I qualified for the tiny niche they’re looking for.  When they put me on hold I said out loud that I had faith that God wouldn’t let me get so close and then lose it.  It ended up that they added a little more work and increased the compensation by 1/3.

I have been expressing faith that God would heal my mother of her health issues.  I can’t remember if I said I had faith that she’d not have to endure a lifetime treatment that they’d told her she had to do for one of the issues and she had in fact already started doing, but I’d asked God to somehow make it so…  and today He DID.  The doctor announced today that she didn’t have the health issue that required that treatment after all, that the problem was being caused by her other health issue, and thus that she can stop the treatment!!

And the biggie today:  I called the woman I met last week under circumstances that made it obvious that God was involved.  We discovered that we both love the same TV show, so we had that to bond over.   She announced that next week would be a good time for us to get together.  And…  she said that SHE would call ME!!  This is crucial, because before she asked ME to call, and now she’s offering to make some effort… so I’ve got a decent shot at befriending her.  I also happened to notice another show that she likes and mentioned today on the TV schedule, although I never noticed it BEFORE in the YEARS it’s been on TV, guess what THAT means, and watched it so I can talk to her about it.  It’s so much easier with God’s help, so much easier when you have faith!!

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One of the things I had faith that God would do for me today was something unusual;  that a friend (any friend) would contact me today, preferably by phone.  And someone DID call;  a new friend who had NEVER called to chat (we’ve been emailing recently, though) called on a puzzling pretext (as if her mind had been clouded and she didn’t recall what I’d already told her via email, hmmmmm), and we had a real girlfriends-type convo!!  I even remembered to end it myself rather than talking for as long as they’re willing like I used to do.  This was a solid step forwards for us, opening the way for ME to call HER, and hopefully to seeing her and her husband, who is the person I most want to get to know better, sometime soon.

There’s no coincidence to the timing;  I had faith, and God gave me what I was hoping for, except BETTER… I’m still amazed that this woman called me, that God gave me such a serious response to my faith.  He also filled me with His presence today, when I asked for that for the first time in a while;  I wish I had the words to express what it means to me to have Him staying so close and providing so much for me.

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“Now faith”

JO’s sermon today focused on the idea that you need to ask God to act on your behalf TODAY, to send favor TODAY, to answer your prayers TODAY. It’s not enough to have faith that God will help us in the future, we must believe that He will help us NOW, and must believe that every day, and ASK Him for that help every day.

JO listed many things that people might ask for, all circling around $ or health issues…  but then he tossed out one that sat me right up:  “Today will be the day I meet a new friend.”  And today was the 1st day I spoke on the phone to the woman I just met that I think God wants me to be friends with.

JO said to ask for the things we want TODAY, believe we’ll get them TODAY, and keep believing it  every day whether we get those things or not.  I’m going to start doing that.

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I have asked God many times to bring me a friend.  Someone who lives close enough to me that phone calls between us would be free, and seeing each other could be closer to a matter of whim than a matter of serious planning.  Someone who’d be available to talk to me on something resembling a regular basis.  Someone who’d be interested enough in me that we could have enough contact to be part of each other’s day-to-day lives.

Today I had a high-paying job;  I was one of, it turned out, 8 people brought in to get it done, people hired from throughout the county.  I was 10 minutes early…  and so was another woman.  I started talking to her.  I discovered that she lives a MILE from me.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She used to live IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD, and still owns that home.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We chatted, and seemed to be making some contact;  I can’t always judge that accurately, though, because sometimes people seem very animated and involved with me and then it’s like a spell breaks and suddenly they’re a mile away, socially speaking.  We were herded down a hallway and brought to the room we’d be working in.  I made myself stop talking and walk in, going towards the far end of the room.  Would she follow me, or take advantage of my back being turned and my mouth being shut to break away and settle down out of my “reach”?

She sat next to me!!!!

We seemed to be steadily making more of a connection when the flow of work allowed us to speak.  When our time was up, we were still talking, and I was wondering if it was possible that she’d ask for my # rather than me having to be the pursuer.  She said that next time we should carpool… which sure sounded to me like a feeler about keeping in touch, so I suggested a # swap, she agreed, and we chatted all the way into the parking lot…  and discovered that we both work from home, in other words that we’re both alone and at least semi-available all day every day!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, and did I mention that she totally did NOT have the qualifications the rest of us had for this job, and so shouldn’t even have been there?

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It’s true!!  She made a point of saying so after we all did our introductions, although it was quite obvious;  the recruiter had mentioned what a desperate time they were having finding people who fit a very narrow profile, and they obviously had to more or less grab a warm body with a little bit of overlap at the last minute.  Why HER?  Why do you think?!!

You couldn’t put all that in a book or a movie;  it’s too many freaky “coincidences,” it’s too perfect of a setup to make the “right” kind of friend, the kind I’m desperate for, and even better in terms of location and availability than it had occurred to me to have as even a wild hope.  There’s no doubt about it;  God brought me and this woman together.

Is she meant to be in my life briefly, to answer a question and then vanish like my friendship-site buddy, or will she be the real thing?  Given that, unlike with him, the age, gender and LOCATION (!!!) are right for a convenient relationship, I think it’s the latter.

I HAVE FAITH THAT GOD WILL GUIDE ME INTO BECOMING SOLID FRIENDS WITH THIS WOMAN.

And another freaky friendship thing:  There was a woman who I seemed to be becoming friends with a few years ago, but things got weird, due I think to both of us stumbling over when not to push, be blunt or blurt out things rather than take the longer and friendship-friendly view.  She lives a BLOCK from me, so it would’ve been good to have maintained the friendship just to have someone close by;  I was less alone then than I am now, though, less willing to just gloss over friction in the name of having someone to talk to or spend time with.

Today, I received a gift card for some game I never heard of.

While writing this post I looked up the old friend’s name;  the urge just came to me and I ran with it.

I clicked the social website link that came up.  It wasn’t her.  This other woman with her unusual name had almost nothing on her page.  She did have a short list of things that she liked.  First on the list was THAT GAME.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have sent her an email.  How could I not?  With all the friendship-related coincidences already today…  could this really be yet another sign?  It seems like it must be, but I’m so bleary-eyed now that I just need to get this posted and get to bed.

The next few days will be VERY interesting.

Edit 7-13-14:  Four years later…  I AM pretty solid friends with that woman, but it just fell into place over the last couple of months.  God comes through, but in His time, which by definition is the best time.

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Faith… reward?

I had faith that I’d get a certain job.  It looked like there were signs.  I found out today that I didn’t get it because there has to be a certain # of days between jobs for them.  Could God have somehow fixed that?  Of course.  But wiping memories and computers to get me one more job would be way beyond anything I’d expect Him to do, nor should He be expected to do any such ridiculous thing.

My faith is unaltered.  They said there would be more jobs for me, and I have faith that once the gap time has elapsed I’ll get one.

I got a different job offer for 50% more $ today instead.  From a different company that ALSO has a gap requirement, and for whom I’m already doing a job later this week, but I’m not showing in their system for some reason, so when they looked me up they didn’t see that they’ll be paying me twice in one week.  HOW is the job I’m already signed up to do not in the system?  WHY would their system not show me as already signed up?  Why didn’t they ASK if I was already signed up for anything?  Is it just a flaw in how data is shared in their system, or…  did I get helped?

It’s possible that someone will figure out that I’m scheduled for 2 this week;  I have faith that this won’t happen.

And here’s the almost eerie one:  I went to my room to look for something that I hadn’t seen in a few days.  It wasn’t where I expected it to be.  I did a search of the expected storage area;  nothing.  I ran out to check in another room;  nothing.  I sprinted back to my room…  and it was laying on the bed.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bizarre reappearances like that have happened now and then since my teens, although much more frequently then than now.  Why would just an occasional thing be returned to me this way?  Or…  a better question, since too many things being returned would provide the sort of extreme proof of “other powers” that said powers are understandably unwilling to provide, would be;  was it always God doing it, or…  was it otherworldly helpers/pranksters who are now clearly still hanging around?

Was this “finding” a reward, or a generous whim, or not God at all?  

I have faith that He will make all this clear to me in His timing.

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