Archive for June, 2010

2 more wins

I had logged into a site I’d recently joined to see if a question I’d posted had been answered by the admin.  I clicked what I thought was the right thing (it’s a very oddly and badly laid out site), and it turned out to be a newer admin thread.  The weekly raffle winners were at the bottom;  I’d never so much as glanced at that stuff before, had no idea where on the site the raffle was or how to enter…  but somehow I SAW MY NAME!!!!!

It turns out that just by participating on the site I’d been entered into the raffle, and I WON.  ANOTHER WIN, this time from something I hadn’t even known about.

But wait, there’s more:  It struck me that I should check the previous weeks to  see if I’d won more than once;  ridiculous, right?  Right…  except I’d won LAST week too, and TODAY was the LAST day to claim that prize!!!!!!!!!!!

How is it possible that the formerly  least lucky person in the world could win 2 WEEKS IN A ROW, and in addition to several other recent wins, one of which was BIG?  Simple:  GOD.  There’s no other explanation you can give.  Even if I was constantly entering contests instead of virtually never, this many wins would be mind-boggling.  God is rewarding me beyond anything I’d imagined;  certainly, the amazing flow of work and the physical healings/improvements He’s done have been staggering in their own right, but those are more in line with what one would expect God to help with…  although not to the level of help I’M getting…  but to win all these contests, even ones I’d made no conscious effort to enter?   I…  I must somehow be worthy in His eyes, but what have I ever done to…  non-coincidentally, I had the urge to look today and see if my friendship-site buddy had returned, which he hadn’t, and the message from him that I clicked to see if his name was back in it turned out to be (the subject lines of all the messages are just “hi”)…  the one where he told me that NONE of us are “worthy” of the blessings God gives us, and that we should just be grateful…

I suppose that an obstinate enough person who was determined to deny the existence of God no matter what could keep  writing all of this off as coincidences, but I don’t see how anyone else could.

Dear God, thank you beyond words for these many gifts you’ve bestowed upon me.  PLEASE don’t let me start expecting such things rather than feeling the awe and gratitude that I SHOULD feel as each blessing unfolds.  But please help me to still increase in faith that you will be with me and bring me great things as JO says You intend to. I know that these things are fairly contradictory, but please help me to achieve this balancing act of faith and proper expectation and an innocent and pure heart without feelings of entitlement.

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A small miracle

There was a contest for a nice little prize that the 1st X # of people would get if they jumped through certain hoops.  From the # of views of that page when I got there, which was at the point that I had to count on not all views being submissions to get in, my chances were so-so, but the prize was worth the effort, so I submitted my entry.

Over an hour later, I discovered that my submission had failed, and now the views were WILDLY beyond the # of prizes;  game over.

I should logically have just closed the window, because I was totally sure, based on what any rational person would call incontrovertible evidence,  that all the prizes had long since been claimed, but for some reason I re-submitted…  and then have agonized for the 2 intervening months about how stupid I’d been to not verify that the submission had gone through.

Guess what came in the mail today?  🙂

Seems miraculous to me.  To underscore the point, the BIG prize I won a week and a half ago, which there was zero doubt came to me via divine intervention, also came today. I also remembered literally at the last minute + 1 that another contest was about to start at midnight, and I got that one, too.

Formerly the least “lucky” person on Earth, I’m now flooded with contest wins and unusually well-paid jobs in this awful economy (one of those came today as well);  God is behind it all, patiently granting a very generous % of my requests, and handling things like this prize that I didn’t even think to ask for.

That He cares enough about me to make all this effort makes me officially the luckiest person on this planet;  all else pales before the staggering fact that He has chosen me as one of those infinitely blessed with a close personal relationship with Him.

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Do you ever have one of those dreams when you realize you’re dreaming?  When most people have one of those, they can control what happens;  when *I* have one,  I typically get minor control, and mostly STRUGGLE to control:  If  I decide I want to be in a palace,  I’ll end up in a rowboat.  I might successfully imagine a horse, but 10 seconds later all I have left is a piece of leather I vaguely think was part of its bridle.  I typically try to “find” a person, and what I usually end up with bears only partial resemblance to them, and they keep morphing to be less like the person I want as time progresses.  VERY frustrating.

Last night I realized I was dreaming and immediately started looking for a certain man.   I found him reasonably quickly, and he looked pretty close to life, although with a couple of puzzling exceptions.  I “found” somewhere private for us to retire to.  As I led him in,  I inexplicably mentioned that there was a fridge filled with food (it’s not like we could really eat, or like that’s the scene I wanted to play out)…  and a fridge instantly popped out of the wall and swung its door open to reveal that it was full of food.  That stopped me in my tracks in mid-dream, because even with the muddied memory inherent in dreams I knew darned well that nothing like THAT had ever happened before.  The dream got vague and off track as unfortunately tends to happen, but I did manage to influence a couple of other things significantly as well.

I strongly resist becoming one of these people who sees the hand of God in every twitch and quiver, but when the pattern of a lifetime suddenly takes a radical turn for the better, as has happened with several major things recently through no effort of mine, it’s hard to NOT see God…  what other reasonable explanation is there for all these huge changes?

I can’t wait to see what happens next…

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