Archive for June 15th, 2010

2 more wins

I had logged into a site I’d recently joined to see if a question I’d posted had been answered by the admin.  I clicked what I thought was the right thing (it’s a very oddly and badly laid out site), and it turned out to be a newer admin thread.  The weekly raffle winners were at the bottom;  I’d never so much as glanced at that stuff before, had no idea where on the site the raffle was or how to enter…  but somehow I SAW MY NAME!!!!!

It turns out that just by participating on the site I’d been entered into the raffle, and I WON.  ANOTHER WIN, this time from something I hadn’t even known about.

But wait, there’s more:  It struck me that I should check the previous weeks to  see if I’d won more than once;  ridiculous, right?  Right…  except I’d won LAST week too, and TODAY was the LAST day to claim that prize!!!!!!!!!!!

How is it possible that the formerly  least lucky person in the world could win 2 WEEKS IN A ROW, and in addition to several other recent wins, one of which was BIG?  Simple:  GOD.  There’s no other explanation you can give.  Even if I was constantly entering contests instead of virtually never, this many wins would be mind-boggling.  God is rewarding me beyond anything I’d imagined;  certainly, the amazing flow of work and the physical healings/improvements He’s done have been staggering in their own right, but those are more in line with what one would expect God to help with…  although not to the level of help I’M getting…  but to win all these contests, even ones I’d made no conscious effort to enter?   I…  I must somehow be worthy in His eyes, but what have I ever done to…  non-coincidentally, I had the urge to look today and see if my friendship-site buddy had returned, which he hadn’t, and the message from him that I clicked to see if his name was back in it turned out to be (the subject lines of all the messages are just “hi”)…  the one where he told me that NONE of us are “worthy” of the blessings God gives us, and that we should just be grateful…

I suppose that an obstinate enough person who was determined to deny the existence of God no matter what could keep  writing all of this off as coincidences, but I don’t see how anyone else could.

Dear God, thank you beyond words for these many gifts you’ve bestowed upon me.  PLEASE don’t let me start expecting such things rather than feeling the awe and gratitude that I SHOULD feel as each blessing unfolds.  But please help me to still increase in faith that you will be with me and bring me great things as JO says You intend to. I know that these things are fairly contradictory, but please help me to achieve this balancing act of faith and proper expectation and an innocent and pure heart without feelings of entitlement.

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